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Monday, 9 December 2013

“Aunty” Income-ben-see and the other Aunties!

The latest ‘clean-sweep’ that one is hearing of has been achieved, not by an aam aadmi, but by an aam ‘aunty’, affectionately called Aunty Income-ben-see!!

She is your common (‘aam’) friendly (except to dirt, filth, scum, and the likes) neighbourhood cleaning woman, wielding a special ‘jharoo’ (broom).


The pallu of her saree firmly tucked around her waist, she executes her job professionally and swiftly, zeroing in on dirt, muck and scum in no time at all, and sweeping it off with a flourish in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it action.

Now, don’t go getting the wrong impression about her being wealthy and all that by her surname:

"Income-ben-see"

No hidden wealth here, the ‘income’ in her name actually just means she executes her task in very little, or ‘kam’ time, which is for all her sisters or ‘bens’ (and brothers or bhai's) to 'see' and learn from.

After her work is done, she is known to wave her broom and declare, “Don’t underestimate the power of a common aunty!!”, and dance to the (in)famous ‘jharoo dance, jharoo dance, jharoo dance, jharoo dance’ (sung to the tune of the ‘lungi dance’ song from Chennai Express).

For the latest clean sweep, ‘Aamchi’ (our) Aunty, being a choosy relative, opted to begin the cleaning process from the source or Centre where it emanated.

The reason for all the dirt at the Centre was another Aunty, who, because she had been sitting there so long, was covered in cobwebs, which wily spiders had woven all over, under and around her.

So much so that the spiders forgot she was an Aunty and mistook her for an old tree, or rock, or something that just stays put.

Very soon, this Centre Aunty became so cobwebbed that she could hardly be seen. Sometimes, she would call out for help to a bigger Aunty, who nodded her support sternly from afar (without smiling), but did nothing.

The reason was that this Big Aunty was busy watching over her little baba (baby boy) play ‘leader-leader’, and had even given him real people to play it with/over.

When some people complained that they didn’t want to play, but were hungry and wanted to eat, the little baba told them that lately, they had started eating too much.

Aunty Income-ben-see immediately saw that the Centre Aunty and her cobwebs would have to go. She fished out a ‘jharoo’ (broom) from the voluminous folds of her saree, and voila! All gone!

On seeing this, the Big Aunty's little baba , bored of playing ‘leader-leader’ (maybe because he just doesn’t know how to play the game, although no one dares tell him this), wanted a new toy: the ‘jharoo’ (broom) of Aunty Income-ben-see.

Big Aunty told the little baba that the ‘jharoo’ was useless, and not worth even  holding in his hand. 

However, little baba is not convinced and is now going to try and get one exactly like Aunty Income-ben-see’s.


Meanwhile, last heard Aunty Income-ben-see was seen heading toward a lotus pond, which she heard was full of muck.

Wonder how many lotuses, which are known to thrive the best in 'keechad' (filthy slush) will survive once she finishes her job..:)!! (this last line is courtesy a cartoon in Navbharat Times)