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Friday, 18 September 2009

Fall out of the royal flutter!


Shashi Tharoor’s unwitting twit may have caused a royal flutter amongst the Congress flock, but there could be other consequences of his act:


Social consequences:


1.Mass migration of social butterflies and birds from other netwotking sites such as FB to twitter.(What, you DON’T have a twitter account? Oh, you poor darling!)


2.Books written on Tharoor’s life, with titles like:
a.Humour(less) in a Lungi (or is it Mundu?)
b.Cat(tle) Call
c.‘My Life’, as (T)witnessed by a ‘Holy Cow’


Consequences on the English language:


1.‘Bird- brained’:
a.Earlier: adj., meaning dim witted, small brained
b.Now: adj., meaning a very sharp and active mind able to deliver the meaning in as few words as possible, in short, a twit.


2.‘Cow’ering:
a.Earlier: adj., crouching in fear
b.Now: adj., giving it back in befitting terms, invoking the blessings of the ‘holy cow’


3.Cattle:
a.Earlier: noun, meaning animals of pasture
b.Now: verb, meaning to rattle all ‘holy cows’, with apt remarks, show the ‘holy cows’ their place


4.Holy cows:
a.Earlier: phrase, meaning “sacrosanct issues or principles that no one dares challenge”(acc to Mr. Tharoor)
b.Now: phrase, meaning a group of individuals deficient in a special gene called ‘humour’, fairly common in the masses, but rarely found in politicians.


5.Cattle class:
a.Earlier: phrase, meaning economy class, where everyone is herded like cattle
b.Now: phrase, meaning a class of individuals who are easily rattled by ‘holy cow’ remarks, who huddle together to think of new strategies to overcome and overpower the ‘twit’ who made them


Consequences on trade:


1.The biggest beneficiary of this issue will be the satta trade. It will make more money on trying to figure out whether Tharoor will be in or out, than on cricket, and will go crazy trying to decipher whether Jayanthi Natarajan’s remarks should be given more weightage than Manmohan Singh’s


There wii be new bets too:


a.Whether Jayanthi Natarajan is in or out


b.Whether Manmohan Singh is in or out


c.Whether the masses will get the joke, and start reading P G Wodehouse


d.Whether the masses will take the term ‘holy cow’ at face value, and take on Jayanthi Natarajan for disallowing Shashi Tharoor to call our most sacred animal ‘holy’


e.Whether Shashi Tharoor will become minitser for Animal Husbandry


f.Whether Shashi Tharoor will use this controversy to make a firmer place in the minds of the masses (after all, from now on, no news paper reading Indian will ever be able to separate the images of a cud chewing cow and the Mundu clad Tharoor), or not


For other similar serious consequences that may have been overlooked here, please contact writer of this piece. Let me warn you, one consequence of your act could be the displacement of Katrina Kaif as the most searched name on www.google.com!